DE best book I have ever read! Yes, I said “de” instead of “the”. Why? Because my native Caribbean slang allows me to emphasize just how much I loved this book. If you haven’t added this book to your library, do it now. If you haven’t read this book, read it now. It is available in any place that sells / rents / stores books. I am dead serious. Read it. Now.
I cannot post a picture of this book…because…my mom visited me recently, fell in love with the book, and somehow convinced my abso-positively, most favorite book to fly across the Caribbean Sea and live on her bookshelf. Le sigh.
Dr. Gary Chapman is the author of what used to be one of my most prized possessions. If you ever meet him, please tell him I am eternally grateful to him. I’ve applied this book to not only, my relationships, but also to my friends, family members, and coworkers. I am convinced that most relationships / friendships end not because two people are incompatible, but because they do not understand how their spouse / friend loves him / her. In other words, most couples do not speak the same love language.
The 5 love languages are:
1) quality time – You feel most loved when someone gives you his / her undivided attention. No, it’s not just going to eat at a restaurant. It’s when someone does something just because they want to be with you. It’s most likely your love language if you complain that “He/she never spends time with me.”
2) words of affirmation – You feel most loved when someone speaks words of admiration to you. They don’t just compliment you, they breathe life into you with their positivity. You love when they express their gratitude or appreciate something you’ve done.
3) receiving gifts – You feel most loved when someone gives you a gift. When you receive a gift, your heart does somersaults because it communicates that “he / she was thinking about me.” If you tend to complain that “he / she went on a trip and didn’t buy me anything!” then chances are this is your love language.
4) physical touch – You feel most loved when you are hugged or cuddled.
5) acts of service – You feel most loved when someone “shows” you how much they love you. You don’t really care how much someone says he / she loves you. You need them to “show” you. When they wash the car, take out the garbage, cook you dinner, etc. and do these things consistently, you know they love you.
Usually, the way you show your lover / best friend you love him / her is the way you want to be loved. If you complain about something, then your complaints will reveal your love language too. You can take a quick test to learn your love language here. What is yours? Mine is quality time :). Most times though we express love to our friends / spouses how we want to be loved. Unfortunately, if they do not have the same love language as we do, then they may not feel loved. Simply, it would mean you are speaking French while he / she only understands Spanish. It doesn’t mean that you are incompatible. It just means that you have to make an effort to love your friend / parents / spouses / children in the language that they understand. And, teach them how to love you in the language that you understand best.
Today’s Lesson: Just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to, does not mean that they don’t love you with all they have. Love is a choice. Spread some love today!!