:: 30 ::

I don’t turn 30 until next year but I am so excited for that year. It’s going to be epic! I am so pumped for 30 that I wrote a poem today in eager anticipation ☺️. I think I feel bad for 30. Everyone is afraid of it. So I’ve decided to embrace it, and count down to it. This is me giving 30 some love.

  
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Bella’s Bookshelf 3 | The Very Thought of You

I see your face in every flower,

Your eyes in stars above,

It’s just the thought of you,

The very thought of you, my love…

Ahh such words have ben sung by the genius that is Nat King Cole.

I wish I could recommend this book for CXC Literature students. The poetry, imagery, and character complexity are just yearning to be analyzed. This is an excellent, pseudo-fictitious account of WWII events. The juxtaposition of thoughts and characters is presented beautifully. Simple writing & complex characters. Melancholic & sensual events. Hitler brutality & English kindness. War & Love through the eyes of an 8-year old Brit. Love. All kinds of love. Parental, mentor, marital, love affairs….I am impressed that this is the first novel by Rosie Alison. What a woman! =)

 If your love language is Words of Affirmation, you’ll love this book. There are some love letters written here that will make you all-sorts-of-swoon.

For what it’s worth, I wanted to tell you that I love you. Never before has anyone touched me so deeply – you have changed my life and I cherish everything about you….I have never loved a face more than I love yours, and I see it everywhere. Everything that moves reminds me of you.

I give this book a 5/5. I’ll definitely read again one day. Bella’s Bookshelf is happy for this new addition =)

Love 7 | First Love vs Second Love

There is a First love, from God, who loved us all before we even started loving each other. Second love is from our parents, friends, siblings and of course that significant other (for those of us that got him/her).

Sometimes, we expect from the second love what we should really be receiving from the first…that unconditional, total, self-giving love… If you are experiencing that from your person, then congratulations and good luck to u ;).

But, we must realize that we are limited in our abilities to be so unconditionally loving. Holding on to that Cinderella dream of finding that one person who is going to love us so completely can be disappointing.

The perfect love only comes from God.

my interpretation of a teaching by Henri Nouwen

Why I Hope My Ex Was A Once-In-A-Lifetime Kind Of Love

I loved this piece. I needed to share it with you. I echo her sentiments perfectly. Love is not about finding your “other half.” You are a whole person from the day that you were born. Therefore, in a relationship, you bring 100% you and your partner should bring 100% too. Learn to love yourself, first. Your whole self. All 100% of you. Then, only then, are you ready to love 100% of your partner. Love is a partnership.

Thought Catalog

Yesterday I ran into a friend I hadn’t seen in awhile. As we did our quick five-minute catch-up, she asked me how my ex was doing. After I did my well rehearsed polite response, “Actually we aren’t together anymore, so I am not entirely sure,” she gave me the immediate look of sadness and sympathy that I always get. I’m well used to that look, I guess that’s what happens when the man you thought you were going to marry breaks up with you, but after giving me “the look,” she told me that she knows I’ll find someone new and I will love him just as much, if not more. Her words, meant to make me feel better about being single, really got me thinking.
 
I hope she is wrong. I hope I never find someone I love as much as him.
 
I don’t say that because…

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Love 6 | Just Be

Stop thinking so much.
Stop analyzing, re-analyzing, and over-analyzing.
Just be.
Be in the moment.
Be in the minute.
Be in the second.

Let ‘it’ go.
Let love flow.
Just enjoy.
Enjoy this moment.
Enjoy this minute.
Enjoy this second.

Everyone comes into our life for a reason.
Maybe it is just for a short season.
Short is relative.
Long is too.
Love each moment.
Love each minute.
Love each second.

Just be.
Just chill.
Just love.

Love 5 | Love is a Choice

Love is a Choice. I am a pragmatic romantic; for me, love is more of a promise to love instead of a feeling. The “in love” phase typically subsides after 2 years. After that period, it becomes a choice to love that perfectly, imperfect person with all his / her flaws. There is no pretense. It just is. You feel comfortable with him / her, more so than with any previous partner. You don’t have to do anything spectacular. His / her presence is all you need. Watch TV in bed, take a walk, dine out at a restaurant, discuss spiritual beliefs, cuddle, share a laugh. Quality time for me is Love. And, it is a Choice. I can choose to spend time with him / her or I can choose not to.

Living in this age of technology, we are bombarded with the love stories of friends on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and personal Blogs. Usually, 1% of our friends / acquaintances post pictures of their “in love” phases. And, for people, like me, who love simply and easily and in private, seeing these images may force us to question whether we are settling or if that really is love. But, in the words of Nicholas Sparks, “love, I’ve come to understand, is more than three words mumbled before bedtime. Love is sustained by action, a pattern of devotion in the things we do for each other every day.”

On Spirituality

I believe there is good and there is evil.
that upon death, the good are rewarded and the evil are not.
That good is relative because we are all susceptible to sin.
Small sins and big, deliberate sins.

I believe that there is a God.
And God has no gender.
That God lives in all of us.
That atheists do not believe in God because they blame Him for allowing awful things to happen.
That atheists, by default, believe in God because they are blaming Him.
That scientists who are atheists should have their degrees revoked.
Because physics and biology prove that God exists.

I believe that God created us to heal the world.
And when we sit back and let awful things happen, we are not fulfilling our purpose.

I believe in reincarnation.
Because it’s the only way I can explain meeting someone in this life for the first time while knowing in my heart that I’ve met them before.
Because when I look at them, I am staring into familiar eyes.

I believe that religion divides but love unites.
But that a child should grow up in a church because it gives him the basic foundation of who God is.
That the bible is a guideline and not a rule book.
That irregardless of culture and race and religion, our core belief to love is the same.

I believe in love.
Love is my religion.

Bella’s Bookshelf 2 | The Five Love Languages

DE best book I have ever read! Yes, I said “de” instead of “the”. Why? Because my native Caribbean slang allows me to emphasize just how much I loved this book. If you haven’t added this book to your library, do it now. If you haven’t read this book, read it now. It is available in any place that sells / rents / stores books. I am dead serious. Read it. Now.

I cannot post a picture of this book…because…my mom visited me recently, fell in love with the book, and somehow convinced my abso-positively, most favorite book to fly across the Caribbean Sea and live on her bookshelf. Le sigh.

Dr. Gary Chapman is the author of what used to be one of my most prized possessions. If you ever meet him, please tell him I am eternally grateful to him. I’ve applied this book to not only, my relationships, but also to my friends, family members, and coworkers. I am convinced that most relationships / friendships end not because two people are incompatible, but because they do not understand how their spouse / friend loves him / her. In other words, most couples do not speak the same love language.

The 5 love languages are:

1) quality time – You feel most loved when someone gives you his / her undivided attention. No, it’s not just going to eat at a restaurant. It’s when someone does something just because they want to be with you. It’s most likely your love language if you complain  that “He/she never spends time with me.”

2) words of affirmation – You feel most loved when someone speaks words of admiration to you. They don’t just compliment you, they breathe life into you with their positivity. You love when they express their gratitude or appreciate something you’ve done.

3) receiving gifts – You feel most loved when someone gives you a gift. When you receive a gift, your heart does somersaults because it communicates that “he / she was thinking about me.” If you tend to complain that “he / she went on a trip and didn’t buy me anything!” then chances are this is your love language.

4) physical touch – You feel most loved when you are hugged or cuddled.

5) acts of service – You feel most loved when someone “shows” you how much they love you. You don’t really care how much someone says he / she loves you. You need them to “show” you. When they wash the car, take out the garbage, cook you dinner, etc. and do these things consistently, you know they love you.

Usually, the way you show your lover / best friend you love him / her is the way you want to be loved. If you complain about something, then your complaints will reveal your love language too. You can take a quick test to learn your love language here. What is yours? Mine is quality time :). Most times though we express love to our friends / spouses how we want to be loved. Unfortunately, if they do not have the same love language as we do, then they may not feel loved. Simply, it would mean you are speaking French while he / she only understands Spanish. It doesn’t mean that you are incompatible. It just means that you have to make an effort to love your friend / parents / spouses / children in the language that they understand. And, teach them how to love you in the language that you understand best.

Today’s Lesson: Just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to, does not mean that they don’t love you with all they have. Love is a choice. Spread some love today!!

Love 4 | Be Patient

 
Dear Lord,
Help me to not mistake Your silence for Your absence.
Help me to remember that Your timing is perfect,
and Your presence is constant.
Teach me to trust Your sense of timing
rather than my own.
Your thoughts are not my thoughts.
Your ways are not my ways.
Wherever you lead me, I will go.
Amen.

Love 3 | Don’t Rush

Love is patient. Take your time to discover the qualities that you admire about your spouse. Take your time to discover the flaws. No one is perfect – there will be flaws. With time, you will know which flaws you can / cannot / are willing to tolerate.

Love is patient. Ask yourself, do you really, really know him/her? Do you really know how he/she handles conflict? Have you disagreed before? How did the two of you handle that disagreement? Were you pleased with the way it was handled? Don’t rush. Live in the moment. Understand each moment. Pray about the moments, both good and bad. With time, you’ll know. So, don’t rush.

Love is patient. If he/she promises to love you forever, then he/she will love you today, tomorrow, next month, next year, in 3 years. Don’t rush. Don’t be manipulated. Listen to your heart, yes, but also your head. Take it slow. Love is patient.